


GI Joe Prompt Fills

by ZeeMastermind



Category: G.I. Joe - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Prompt Fill, Slice of Life, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 05:26:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15066128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeeMastermind/pseuds/ZeeMastermind
Summary: Various prompt fills for GI Joe.





	1. Shipwreck, Barrel Roll, Bombstrike, Black Out

**Author's Note:**

> I put 'graphic depictions of violence' in there just in case, there's not really anything too graphic yet.

Shipwreck leaned over to Barrel Roll’s ear. He loudly whispered, “You know, I don’t really mind being alone on Christmas. Really.”

“No, it’s the least we could do!” Barrel Roll turned to look at his friend, a look of concern on his face, “Besides, you’re family! Heck, you’re better than family!”

The Stall family china cabinet shattered, its supports falling to the floor in a heap. Bombstrike had tackled Black Out into it, and she was pummeling his face. The cobra sniper desperately tried to get out of the grapple without sacrificing a broken nose or a few black eyes. “YOU TERRORIST ASSHOLE. YOU THINK YOU CAN COME HERE AND-”

“Yeah, that’s not really a high bar,” said Shipwreck. Barrel Roll shrugged, and went back to the kitchen to get another cookie.


	2. Blowtorch, Gung-ho, Airborne

Blowtorch and Gung-ho expected Airborne to show up with bail. They feared that it might be Beachhead or Flint, irritated that the two Joes had to get arrested to maintain their cover.

They did not expect Airborne to show up in a pinstripe 3-piece and a briefcase.

“What the merde are you supposed to be?” asked Gung-ho.

“I’m your lawyer.” Airborne set down his briefcase, and started pulling out files, “Can I offer either of you gentleman a smoke?”

“That’s not funny,” said Blowtorch.

“Well…” Gung-ho smirked. “Wait! That’s not the point! Couillon… do you really think that disguise is going to work? You should just tell Lady Jaye. She owes me a favor, she could play a lawyer better than you.”

Airborne chuckled, “Maybe, but last time I checked, she wasn’t barred in Arizona.”

“You’re barred from Arizona and you think you can walk us out of here?”

Blowtorch put his head in his hands, “I knew we shouldn’t have broken that news crew’s camera. I knew it. But no- the marine had to go and smash everything.”

“Hey!” Gung-ho stood up, raising his fist. Unfortunately, this also pulled up the table, connected to Blowtorch’s handcuffs, as well as dump off all of Airborne’s paperwork.

“Stop it! No, I mean I’m barred as a lawyer- I mean I am a lawyer who can practice in Arizona!”

Gung-ho and Blowtorch stopped. After a second, they burst out laughing.

“Oh, that’s too rich,” Blowtorch said. “Ok, Airborne. We’ll go along with your plan.”

“Yes, yes,” Gung-ho nodded thoughtfully, “This might be so stupid that it works! Our Airborne, a lawyer. Court rooms must be getting mighty interesting with all those paratroopers running around.”

Blowtorch giggled.

Airborne smacked his head against the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not too familiar with French, and even less so with Cajun. Let me know if there’s better curse words for Gung-ho to use!


	3. Ghostrider, Doc, Deep 6

Doc tapped on the clipboard. “Well, that settles everything up for now. Deep 6, I’d like you to stay in observation for a few days before we send you back to light duty. I’ll say… 4 weeks of light duty.”

“Mmkay,” Deep 6 muttered. He looked up at Doc with a wistful expression.

“And as for you,” Doc turned on the stealth pilot, “I would say, at least 6 weeks. And nothing that uses your arm, either.”

“6 weeks?” exclaimed Ghostrider. “No, no, no- I’ll be out in this cast in 3 weeks, 4 at the most.”

Doc chuckled, an evil look in his eyes. “Now, you. You’re not the new guy here anymore. I’ve held ninja against their own for weeks on end. Heck, I’ve held Beachhead against his will.” The doctor peered down at the stealth pilot, “And I have the feeling that all I have to do for you is get a set of handcuffs and a signed order.”

Ghostrider began to sweat. He’d heard rumors about this side of Doc, sure, but he hadn’t been in to see him yet. Besides flu shots, anyways. The whole point of being a stealth pilot was not to get spotted. And the enemy can’t shoot what they can’t see.

But Cobra must’ve upped their radars, because Wild Weasel got the drop on him en route to drop off Deep 6. The cobra pilot lit up his cockpit with 30mm before disengaging. It was a little infuriating for his state of the art Phantom X-19 to get shot up by some iron bathtub from the early 70′s. There would be a reckoning.

Ghostrider chewed his lip, then grinned. “And what exactly are you going to put on those orders?”

Doc furrowed his brow, “What do you mean?”

“Who are those orders going to be directed to?”

“You, of course.”

“Oh yeah? What’s my name?”

Doc gaped. He turned to face the normally asocial diver, “Deep 6, help me out here.”

“I think his name’s skull man,” Deep 6 bubbled some drool, “Flaming skull man! On a motorcycle!”

“He’s drugged up on morphine, what’s your excuse?” Ghostrider smirked.

Doc frowned. “Fine, I’ll just mark the orders Top Secret and direct them to Maj. Jeffries. Happy?”

Ghostrider groaned, letting his head fall back against the bed.


	4. Big Ben, Ice Cream Soldier

“Sir, are you quite sure the Joe I’m supposed to meet is called Ice Cream Soldier? No, I understand. GI Joe certainly has its fair share of colorful nicknames.” Big Ben laughed, “Of course, sir. I’ll wander around the parks and wait for the ice cream truck to come around. Still, it seems a bit too loud to be a good cover. Even for the Joes. Yes sir, I will report back at the end of the mission. Thank you sir, you have a good evening as well.”

Big Ben threw his burner phone in a glass of water. After letting it sit for a minute, he took it out and smashed it with a hammer. He scooped up the remains into his ‘burn bag’ to be disposed of later.

The SAS trooper left the apartment. It was still 20:15, not too late for a tourist to be wandering around the city. He made his way to the park. A few odd turns and ‘shortcuts’ through a wooded part, and he found the Joes’ hideout: An abandoned ice cream machine.

Big Ben knocked four times on the door. A voice called out from the other side, “What is unthinkable?”

“To be forgotten,” Big Ben responded. The door swung open.

The soldier behind it was wearing bright red and yellow armor. He was carrying a sizable flamethrower, hooked up to a tank on his back. Big Ben didn’t know what he was expecting, but definitely not this.

“You must be the brit!” The soldier took off a sizable fireproof glove and shook Big Ben’s hand. “I’m Ice Cream Soldier.”

“Pleased to meet you. Big Ben.”

Ice Cream Soldier laughed, “Really? Isn’t that a bit on the nose for our SAS liaison?”

Big Ben smirked, “You know what they say about stones and glass houses.”

“Okay, okay. Come on in- there’s still some fudge left from when we cleared space for the radio transmitters.”


	5. Mercer, Scoop, Psyche-Out, Grunt, Recondo

There was bound to be some friction when a journalist joined the covert GI Joe team.

* * *

_Mercer_

“Clean the HISS tanks, transfer the prisoner,” muttered the viper, “It’s always the same thing around here.”

“Oh?” said Leonard, “Care to elaborate?”

The viper scoffed, “I’m not going to make small-talk with a Joe prisoner. And you can forget about me telling any of our secrets!”

“A Joe? Is that your slang for journalist?” Leonard wished the terrorists had let him keep his notepad and pens.

“Uh, no, it stands for GI Joe.”

“What’s that?”

The viper blinked, “Your team. You know, the secret military organization created by the corrupt United States government?”

“Really?” Leonard smelled a story, “How were they formed?”

“Nobody knows. We didn’t even know about them until we kidnapped Burkhart- hey! What did I tell you about me telling you secrets?” The viper punched Leonard in the gut.

Leonard collapsed.

“Aw, crap,” said the viper, “I broke it. Maybe he wasn’t a Joe…”

The viper peered over to check on his prisoner, and Leonard kicked him in the shins. The reporter ran off. He had a story to catch. Once he got off this island, anyways…

“And that’s how I first learned about GI Joe.” Scoop sighed. He was on the GI Joe team, but that was pretty much to ensure his silence. He had been getting interrogated by the Joes’ analysts for weeks.

“Anything you can tell us about that viper?” asked Psyche-out.

“Um, it was hard to tell. He had the helmet and mask on. He was white, dark hair and dark eyes”

“No scars? Tattoos?”

“I don’t think so… sorry.”

“That’s alright, Scoop. Just let us know if you think of anything.” Psyche-Out tapped his chin, “Mercer, does that sound like anyone you might know?”

Mercer may have divulged everything he knew about Cobra to GI Joe when he joined the team, but he didn’t necessarily need to tell everyone everything he did. It was much better to stay friends that way. Especially not gossipy ones like Scoop.

Mercer shook his head, “No, that could’ve been anyone.”

Psyche-Out gave him an odd look. The man opened his mouth, then returned to his eerie smile. “Alright, Scoop. You can go back to your quarters now.”

Once Scoop left, Psyche-Out turned on Mercer, “Anyone, huh?”

Mercer had to stop fidgeting when he was lying.

* * *

_Grunt_

“Stop right there, GI Joe.” _  
_

Grunt froze. He left the Joe team to finish up his degree. But it seemed like Cobra had finally caught up to him. He turned around, then looked down. A 5′ 2″ man was pointing what appeared to be a camera at him. Grunt disarmed the man, tossing the weapon against the wall.

He pinned the man’s arm to his back, “How did you find me?” Grunt pulled a knife from his belt and held it to the man’s neck.

“You broke my camera!” The man whined. Grunt looked at the wreckage. That was definitely a broken camera, not a disguised weapon.

Grunt released the man, “Who are you?”

“Leonard Michaels. I’m with the university’s newsletter club.”

“Get lost.” Grunt turned to walk away. “Wait. How did you know about GI Joe?”

“So you are a member.”

Grunt groaned. Chuckles was going to be pissed about this leak. At least he couldn’t get smoked now that he was a civilian…

* * *

_Recondo_

Scoop paced around the meeting site. It wasn’t like a Crimson Guardsman to show up late. And his friend was one of the best. Still, it had only been fifteen minutes.

A gun cocked behind Scoop’s head. “Fancy seeing you here, newbie.”

Scoop raised his hands, “It’s not- look, I can explain.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will,” Recondo covered Scoop’s mouth up with chloroform until the cobra spy went limp. “There’s all sorts of folks back at the pit who would like a word with you.”


	6. Shooter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shooter got retconned, I like the new one better than the one that showed up like once and had no personality

Shooter sighed. Ever since Hawk transitioned from field commander to full commander of GI Joe, she only ever talked to Chuckles on these missions.

One of her better ways of passing the time when secretly overlooking GI Joe’s secret missions was making up stories for what the Joes were up to.

Airborne? An aspiring astronaut, hampered by his belief in the flat earth conspiracy.

Recondo? He and Wild Bill were once aspiring movie stars, but their dreams were crushed. Down on their luck, they joined the army. And- oh, he was looking at her hidey-hole funny. She had to reset her position. Shooter guessed that she could add him to the list of GI Joe ninja, scouts, and spooks to keep at least 10km away from.

She was still half-certain Snake Eyes knew about her secret identity as a chaplain’s assistant. So much for need-to-know.


End file.
